Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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