some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
