I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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