I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
