she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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