And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I love you. Go after that dick
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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