i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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