But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
