You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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