we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
