dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
