Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
