can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
