The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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