Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
did you just send me my own nude
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
