This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
