You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize