HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
