The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
