Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
