Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
