Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
