well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
