Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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