I'm so fucking centered right now
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Randomize
