I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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