There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
