wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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