i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
