what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it's great music for shaving your balls
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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