distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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