So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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