omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We left an ass print on the piano.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
