Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
my poor anus
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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