she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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