Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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