Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
