Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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