is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
