so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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