3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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