You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
