I am puke
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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