ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
