Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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