You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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