Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
