I'm going to jail i love you
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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