So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
