Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
