Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
