eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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