Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
