Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize