Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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