i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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