i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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