I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
