Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize