Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
