I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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