its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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