I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
